


Philosophy

by dancey94



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:39:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancey94/pseuds/dancey94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dismissing all my hopes they died after falling from that cliff or any suspicions they might split right after, I wrote a ten-years-later story where they choose to life happily ever after ... more or less</p>
            </blockquote>





	Philosophy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abigail_frank](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abigail_frank/gifts).



> that's what i'm doing during the lectures on philosophy ^^ hence the title

_"Will you help me fall apart_   
_Pick me up, take me in your arms_   
_Find my way back from the storm_   
_And you show me how to grow_   
_Through the change"_

Kutless - Promise of a lifetime

 

The delicate breeze on his face tells Will to wake up. But he does not open his eyes, not yet. He can afford lying there for a moment longer as he always does when he has a fight, no, ‘an argument’, with Hannibal.

It’s been ten years, ten long years during which Hannibal managed to go grey completely, not to mention the tries and bumps that their relationship went through.

Will has to expect going bald soon as he’s approaching his fifties. Who knows what else is waiting for them? The first two years Will was excited and felt relatively young but now it all comes back to him. They are not getting any younger, and it’s only a matter of time when they will need to look after each other and cease their little affairs.

Will yawns quietly and pulls away the duvet. The glistening gold ring on his finger makes him sigh and rethink every sentence he used last night. Maybe he was too harsh, maybe he was reckless, maybe he drank too much. He can’t remember now why he was so mad. There is a fair chance Hannibal will remind him in a minute as the man should walk in any second now, carrying a tray with food.

It became a ritual of sorts, when the morning after they argue Hannibal brings him breakfast to bed. This happens also when Lecter is in a particularly good mood, most often after they made love the night before.

For a first few months Hannibal pouted when they fought and refused to speak to Will until, eventually, it was necessary. Once they didn’t talk for a week and Will rather enjoyed the silent treatment. But what he enjoyed more were the murmurs and the moans and weakly uttered apologies when they were wallowing in bed later.

Now, however, Hannibal has grown to simply bring Will breakfast and apologise, which means a smile and Will’s nod of acknowledgement that it’s okay.

Will stretches on the bed and waits a moment but eventually gets tired and impatient so he goes to the kitchen, which turns out empty apart from all the appliances and furniture. It’s been like that for some time – every room he walks in feels empty unless Hannibal is there.

Taking a few steps and looking around, Will spots no food, no traces of the man, like he has never even been here. Graham frowns and decides to visit Hannibal’s room. Could the man be still sleeping? The clock on the wall tells nine so it’s not very likely Lecter is still indulging in lying in an empty bed. He’s right. The room is missing the one person who always seems to be filling every square millimetre or the space. Where the hell is he?

Will takes a shower and puts on some light clothes. It’s hot even though noon is yet to come. Hannibal is still missing and Will tries to recall if the man told him that he had to run errands or anything that would help him understand why he’s gone. There might be some truth to the suspicion that he’s had too much alcohol as he honestly can’t remember much of what he or Hannibal said.

Resigned, Will takes out his phone and tries calling the man. Nothing, just voicemail. Will takes the keys and leaves the house. He’s getting slightly scared but he leaves nonetheless.

At the beginning they used to live like in a hotel, like they were supposed to leave any second, in case the police found out they are still alive and traced them. But after such a long time in one place, they got to live like a proper couple and that was their home. Of course, Hannibal wanted to show Will a few places first but then they went straight to Argentina. They pretended to be a couple of architects and after a while Hannibal bought them both golden rings to seal the deal. Will never threw his wedding ring away; he keeps it in one of the drawers, deep, under plenty of blankets.

Oh yes. That’s what they were arguing about. Yesterday, Will felt rather horny and miserable at the same time. He must have said something sorely bitter and it must have hurt Hannibal. But hurt enough to leave Will? And he didn’t take any clothes with him. No. He’s probably pouting somewhere again.

Graham takes the route Hannibal showed him once, through the narrow streets and to the strict centre, where they often go to eat in a restaurant or have a peaceful afternoon with a cup of ice cream.

The sun is already pretty high but people are holding umbrellas for later, the weather forecast must have predicted rain for the afternoon. Will looks around the square but can’t quite spot Hannibal. Another step, another wave of fear Lecter might have gone into rage mode and murdered someone, and suddenly Will can smell a familiar scent. It’s earthy and somehow resembling the scent of their mornings together. It’s like the smell of their bed and bodies and lives were mixed together and created more of an association than a real scent.

Will turns his head around to find the man sitting outside a small café. Pouting. He’s drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. There was never a time Will would even think about them getting older and now here he is, seeing the man he truly loves, with his grey hair and slightly less noble posture, his body not as muscular as it was before but still somehow pristine. And Will can’t say he didn’t change either. His curls became whitish and he developed beautiful wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. His stubble disappeared and returned during the ten years, now being neatly trimmed again.

Will sighs, mostly with relief, and stuffs his hands in his pockets. Strangely, these are the hardest steps he’s made since… Since he took that one step on the cliff.

He shouldn’t be scared, they’ve fought before and they’ve always managed to made up.

Lecter must smelled Will, too, as he lifts his head from under the newspaper and looks at the man. Will’s heart almost stops. There is no smile, no reassurance that all is forgiven, nothing. Was it one argument too many?

“May I have a seat?” Will asks pointing at the chair opposite Hannibal and the man only nods, slowly, almost reluctantly. The newspaper is folded and put down on the table. Hannibal caresses the cup with the coffee while looking at Will and it’s an odd way of looking at someone; as if he was about to lose him and he needed to remember all the details before Will is gone.

“When did you leave?” Will asks again, not entirely sure why this would be the first, the most immediate question.

“A few hours ago.” Comes a simple answer and Will’s eyes widen slightly at the words. Hours? Hannibal has been out for hours and it’s only… ten in the morning. “I couldn’t sleep and then I woke up with a terrible headache.” Hannibal explains.

That would be understandable; they did have a few drinks yesterday evening. Will only now realises he feels fine though he can’t remember much.

“And you’d rather sit in the sun in the centre of the city than stay in bed?” Will asks, pointlessly; he knows Hannibal is not an ordinary man and he never takes the easy way.

“The emptiness was overwhelming and made my head hurt even more rather than help.” Hannibal admits and Will feels sorry again. He’s watching Lecter’s hands, his fingers nervously stroking the cup. There is no denying Hannibal became more vulnerable with Will and that he’s the only weak spot of the man.

“I wish I knew what I’m apologising for but anyway I’m really sorry.” Will says and extends his hand to place it on one of Hannibal’s. Lecter lifts his gaze from the cup to Will’s face and it’s a heart-breaking sight. Lecter’s eyes are red and swollen; he could use some sleep and probably a painkiller. “Let’s go home, you’ll take an aspirin and lie down.”

Hannibal sighs and Will can read the sound clearly. Lecter is afraid of being like this - weak, vulnerable. Maybe he didn’t want to be found, maybe he wasn’t expecting Will to be looking for him (although no, he was very genuinely counting on Will proving he still loves him).

Hannibal leaves some money on the table, then they stand up and go.

Already at home, Will points at Hannibal clothes with his eyes, silently asking for permission to undress the older man. Later, he puts Hannibal in their bed and goes to the kitchen for the promised aspirin and a glass of water. Lecter swallows the pill and puts his head on the pillow but refuses to close his eyes. He keeps looking at Will in the same, slightly creepy way.

Graham sits on the bed, next to Lecter and starts stoking the man’s arm. He sees the ring on his finger and smiles gently. It was Hannibal who suggested buying the rings and wearing them, as they couldn’t officially get married, not under their own names or under aliases – that would be plainly pointless. Hannibal wanted to marry Will and not some fake id.

“You said you could have stayed with Molly.” Hannibal speaks and it throws Will off balance. “You said you could have been with any other woman. That you could have found another family. That I destroyed ours.”

Will closes his eyes upon hearing the words in an act of shame. He didn’t mean that, he was drunk and felt like shit the whole day. Or maybe that’s exactly why he was honest?

“You were right, I can’t give you plenty of things. And maybe our life together isn’t as you or I may have expected but I wouldn’t give it up for anything. You saying otherwise was a stab in the heart.”

Only now does Will remember everything. He really said those horrible things, he really uttered the venomous words that must have hurt like hell and spread all over Hannibal, till the last cell. Will truly accused Lecter of killing Abigail (twice), and for all the wrong things that happened to him since they met.

Graham swallows and opens his eyes, but does not look at Hannibal; he’s too ashamed. He withdraws his hand completely and is about to leave the room but Hannibal stops him.

“You were intoxicated. Now you’re not. Do you stand by what you said last night?”

Will is tempted to say ‘no’ right away, he wants to prove that it was a drunken incident and there is nothing standing between them but he can’t help but admit he only told what was on his mind, he was truthful. He is not going to lie now, either.

“Yes.” Will says with sorrow but not with resentment and Hannibal only blinks, he’s too exhausted to even nod. “But I’m no position to say where I would be now if Jack hadn’t come to my house asking for help in catching Dolarhyde. Maybe I’d still be with Molly, maybe not. Maybe that wouldn’t be enough. I could come to you eventually. Or I could leave her and drown in alcohol. I just can’t tell. I only know what I have now and I don’t want to lose it. So whatever I say, I don’t mean to hurt or leave you.”

Hannibal strokes Will’s hand wearing the ring and the cheek still wearing the mark of the enemy that was the Great Red Dragon. All is forgiven. Will leans into the touch and begins ruffling Hannibal’s grey hair. It makes his eyes stand out.

Somehow, in those little moment of tenderness, they often come to confess their love towards each other. The touches are enough and the pure knowledge is enough but they simply can’t resist the sweet words, uttered with unspeakable affection.

“Do you love me?” Hannibal asks, his voice weak and sleepy but still waiting for the obvious answer.

“I love you.” Will murmurs and leans to place a kiss on Hannibal’s forehead before the man falls asleep.

“I love you.” Echoes Hannibal and smiles at the innocent gesture.


End file.
